Jasmine Hart

This was very different to the other poem I read by you, the name of which I can't remember right now... I know it's very straight forward, but I think ...

I really enjoyed this. Your description was amazing, and I loved how you gave an insight into the character. The only thing I can suggest is maybe saying "yesterday's" instead ...

This doesn't suck at all. For the sake of experimentation, I'd suggest trying a draft in the iambic pentameter, as that's a really good disciplin, and that's what Shakespeare tended ...

I like it too. Your imagery is really beautiful. I'd try changing lines five and six to "tear down upon broken lands" as I think it flows a little better. ...

Lol. I liked this. Your rhyming couplets are great, and I love how the story progresses. You have a great style. If I'm nitpicking, I'd say reduce the number of ...

Lol. Very good! I love the first stanza, it flows really well. I liked the internal rhyme of "rage" and "face." I'd omit "That are" from the second stanza. I'd ...

"Dead Poets' Society"? I love it so much! This is a lovely piece, and I agree that it's a very brave move. I agree with gadi about the semicolon, you ...

I agree that this is beautiful. I like how it flows, and yoru imagery is lovely, especially in the second couplet. I enjoyed the fact that you included sibilance, especially ...

I liked this.The first two lines were great, especially "pale house". You have some very interesting images here, such as "velvet dagger droplets slashing the thirsty ground", which was really ...

Heehee. I like this. It's fresh and it flows very well. Your rhythm is very good. I'd put "It's bad for you" in inverted commas, as you're quoting. I'm not ...

I liked this, it's something along the lines of what I expected to happen. I agree that quoting the prophecy at this point doesn't really work. I loved the sixth ...

This was really lovely. I agree with Claudette about punctuation, and your imagery really is very good. I love the sibilance of "silently sigh". It sort of made it sound ...

You're magic, you know that? This was amazing. I love your imagery, and the flow is beautiful. Stanza five is my favourite, and I love the fourth line there. I'd ...

I like this. You have a lovely writing style. You had a good rhythm here and your rhyming was great. You related this very well, and your development was execellent. ...

This is nice overall. Your enjambment, rhythm and rhyme are good for the most part, and I liked the pace,but I have a couple of minor nitpicks... I'm not sure ...